House of Prayer
(slightly delayed but here it is 2 years later)
It is important to know that it doesn’t happen just once, it won’t happen twice, and it certainly will happen again. The time where we come undone, and sometimes we need to love ourselves by allowing every part of ourselves to fall apart. Remember the lights along the path of darkness and the light at the end of this path. Remember it is only a chapter, and the story gets better, and the book is about an amazing person, me.
“Here in Your presence I am undone”
My 2017 was filled with many ups, downs and in-betweens, the year started with saying hello to London but ended with diving into the riskiest decision of my adult life where I resigned from my employment because the professional and personal burdens were overwhelming and I was drowning in the air I breathe; it was a surprise and a blessing that my old-friend depression left me unscathed. It was the year where London came knocking then love said hello followed by a job I couldn’t refused but they all came undone before the year ends – no London, no prestige job, no love. But it was also the year my little love let our his first cry, his little fingers held my heart tight, and I’ve been learning what loving someone is really ought to be.
I’ve been here before, I’ve been at this cross road before, I’ve walked this path of darkness before, but I’ve not seen the new miracles.
I went to Merroo’s House of Prayer to be isolated, to be away from all the noise, to be closer to nature, to hear two leaves gently saying hello to each other , to immerse in the quietness, and to dig deeper. The prayers, the meditation, the tears, the absolute madness of being undone, and the peace of a plan – a plan to put the puzzle pieces back together.
Yes, I’ve been here before, I’ve seen a similar puzzle board, I know the drills.
My 2018 diary looked very different, it was filled with blessings and miracles, one after the other, and another. The year started with an amazing New Year Eve in Cartagena, new friends, new love, new heartache, new job, new apartment, new mountains (Sierra Negra, Mt Batur, Mt Fuji), new throat (bye bye tonsils!), new adventures, and new miracles.
Be scared, and try anyhow.
Risking rather than regretting.
Love deeply, love relentlessly.
Intensely waiting how 2019 will end.